Love in Darkness
by For the Dreamers
Summary: Sam goes on a mission that will change her life and Jack is the one to be there for her... Always. This is my first story so please please please review. FOR ALL THE DREAMERS...WHO WISH STARGATE WAS REAL SO THEY COULD JOIN IT AND KICK GOA'ULD ASS.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Battlefield (Sam's POV**)

Gun fire roared all around me, Daniel lay bleeding on the floor a few feet away but I couldn't help him. I was too busy occupied with the three Jaffa surrounding me. I shot the first as Teal'c fired down the second, I turned my gun to the third but as I fired I caught sight of the blast and felt its damage in my right leg. Fighting back tears of agony I released the bullet and watched the Jaffa fall.

Another five took the first three's place. The last five known to be left, their 'God' Ba'l had abandoned them and was in hiding but these sort of beings were clearly too scared of the consequences to give up on him, Ba'l would have sure of that, showing them what the Goa'uld were capable of.

I tried to calm myself, 'I've been in worse situations, haven't I? I've done this sort of thing millions of times before and I've always survived?' Daniel had stopped moving now, as he lay there he reminded me of how I had once seen Jack fall and lie during a similar battle. The same one as where I lost Janet, my best friend. I remember how glad I had been to see him survive and the emotional hug we had just after; but now when I think of him a small sense of anger and a whole lot of pain wells up inside me. I was prepared to give up everything for him, I thought that we could be together for ever from then on, I thought that he loved me. Tears blurred my vision and a worse pain now resembled the reopening of the massive gash in my heart, just like every time I think of him.

'Focus Sam'

Back in reality, two of the Jaffa had been shot down by Teal'c. One of the surviving blasted the gun out of my hand and it landed far away from me, out of reach. I fumbled in my pocket for anything as I saw Teal'c falll to the ground unconscious and wounded. The three Jaffa turned to me, weapons raised, waiting for me to beg for mercy and surrender. When I did neither, one asked me if I had any last words, so I told him I did and said how I would like to blow us all to hell as I dropped the grenade I had found in my pocket a few moments earlier. It blasted the earth around me and all I remember seeing was a blinding white light… the last thing I would ever see, as I prepared to die.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay guys here is the second chapter. Its completely rubbish, sorry. But things are going to get a lot better, promise! Just a short one because im revision for my exams at the moment so... I don't mind if you don't review this chapter, because lets face it, its not very well written. **

Chapter 2: Life in the Dark

I awakened to find myself lying in a pitch black room, yet there seemed to be someone or something moving around me. I had started wondering whether I was dead when I heard someone call my name "Colonel?" I asked where the voice where we were as my reply.

"In the SGC, the infirmary ma'm"

"Could you turn the lights on?" I asked still trying to make out any sources of light.

"They are on ma'm"

"Then why the hell cant I see?", the woman remained silent; I started growing impatient and worried.

"I'm afraid you've lost your sight" 'What? How?' I thought desperately about the last day, my mind groping for my last memory…'a blinding white light'. Crap.

"Is there anyone else hear?" I asked hopefully.

"No ma'm"

"And my team?"

"I'm afraid Dr Jackson didn't make it, Teal'c is currently recovering the body." The woman moved away as I closed my eyes again. I had remembered all the times I had woke up in this bed and the first person I always saw was Jack sitting next to me. The time I was stuck on the Prometheus and he threw a party with a cake for me. I knew he wouldn't be in this room with me know though like he had promised back then, to always be there. Instead he was in Washington probably playing with toy space ships and drinking tea with the President. I suddenly realized that this would be all I had left to see, pictures of him now or memories of my life. And all my memories were filled of him and so filled with pain. I slowly drifted off into sleep with tears in my eyes that had nothing to do with my bandaged leg or the scares on my face.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, I needed to write this chapter simply because the last one was dreadful. For those of you who are upset about me killing off Daniel I'm sorry, let me make this clear, I have nothing against him, in fact I quite like him, however, he has died so many flipping times and cant make his mind up whether he wants to be dead or come back to life… I decided for him. I hope you like chapter 3….. please review and any ideas that anyone might have I'm happy to listen to, because I seriously have no idea where im going with this… PLEASE REVIEW

Chapter 3:Phone Calls (Jack's POV)

I like my cabin; it's warm and cosy but best of all…empty, and far away, secluded – well except the fish of course- and that's just how I like it. I'm just sitting my back yard with my fishing rod, the sam spot I used to sit with Carter shortly after I retired. Carter…

_Ring Ring _

I jump from my deep thought and go to answer the phone slowly, deliberating whether I should tell whoever it is to piss off, but I decide otherwise and reluctantly pick up it up. The voice is telling me its someone from the SGC, for cryin out loud, telling me to come down there asap due to their being something I should know about. I make my way slowly to the place that used to be such a bog part of my life, and sign in before reporting to the new General, General Laundry or something like that. I walk in to my old office and see someone who likes rather like one of the Bridges brothers sitting there looking at me with great seriousness. My instincts tell me to break the tension by cracking a joke about this place always needing a Laundry machine but I restrain myself when I look down at the desk and see his name is actually Landry- well that's just ruined my day.

"General", he decides to break the tension instead.

"Please, I'm retired. Call me Jack"

"Well I'm sorry to bring you down here Jack but I have some unfortunate news regarding your old team." I wait in silence as he pauses for me to brace myself, even though I just stare blankly at him.

"There was a recent battle between Ba'l and SG1, unfortunately SG-1 where badly hit". I don't reply and so he continues; "Teal'c is fine, a broken arm but nothing that wont heal up. It is with the greatest sympathy that I inform you that Daniel Jackson didn't make it, despite our efforts, and Colonel Carter…" I inhale as I wait for something which is worse than what happened to Danny… what's worse than death? Never being able to see her again, even after death? My questions are answered by the general

"And the Colonel is permanently blind, or so we believe, but the tests performed show that one way or another she'll never be able to see the same way again." I stare in amazement, so its not that I'll never see her, she'll never see me again. I just stare blankly at him as sadness washes over me. A small voice seems to try and comfort me in my head, telling me at least she's still alive, still living, because if she wasn't… I don't know what I would do- just like I once told her, I would rather die myself than lose Carter. And Daniel, I've said goodbye to him so many times, but now I know he's gone and this time he's not coming back. I regret not being with them, it's just that it hurts too much to see her, despite what I did.

"If you want to see her, see is in the infirmary. Please accept my apology." I get up without saying a word, not quite sure of what I'm doing or where I'm going, still too shocked to care. I snap back into reality when I realise that I've made my way to the infirmary. I stop and see Carter laying there asleep, I don't want to make another step, I don't think that she would ever want me near her, not what after I did, but she doesn't understand, I had no choice. She's so beautiful and even though its been so many years since we first met, when ever I look at her I still see the same strong, smart and gorgeous woman I first saw walking into the SGC and going on about reproductive organs and challenging me to an arm wrestle… in owe of her beauty and deep in thought I start to wonder to her side where I always used to be, where it feels like I belong. I long to reach out and touch her face, to hold her in my arms and tell her that I'm here beside her and will never let go. But I cant surrender to this powerful fire and as the doctor comes over to wake her up, I ask her to not let Cater know I'm here.

A few moments later, she wakes up, her eyes opening but not seeing, they look confused. As the doctor explains I want to comfort her and tell her it will be okay but I cant because I know that it will break her heart and this day has been bad enough already.

"Is anyone else here?" I hear her ask, interrupting my thoughts. The doctor still confused about my request turns to me and I shake my head.

"No ma'm"

But I'm here Sam, I always have, always am, and always will be…


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it, because im sacrificing serious revision time here people. I'm open to any ideas that anyone might have. I have already decided to get sam a golden retriever guide dog due to public demand later on but i welcome any ideas that you want to see. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**

Chapter 4: Responsibility (Sam's POV)

I knew my life that my life would be different from now on. For starters I would lose my job and someone would have to look after incapable little old me, possibly a guide dog. It was clear that I would spend the rest of my days alone, stumbling around my home bumping into things, until eventually I would die of boredom and be found three weeks later half eaten by my guide dog.

I am currently being led to the General's office, probably to be told my fate. I'm sat down in a chair as he tells me how important I am to the program and how well I've done over the years. But with the good, there must come the bad and so if follows:

"Unfortunately, you will not be able to defend yourself due to your condition, and therefore you life is going to be at considerable risk. Don't get me wrong, I'm not firing you, but I am suggesting resignation or early retirement"

"No." I strongly stand my ground. " I've been here for years, given my life for this, and I've worked too hard and been through too much just to throw it all away. I understand that I can't be a part of SG1 anymore, but let me work in the lab and examine artefacts or something…anything" I finish getting more desperate.

"Look Colonel. I know. But that is still too great a risk, you wont be able to see what your doing or examining, and if something goes wrong here, well your still not going to be able to help. Surely there are some things you want to do that this job has prevented? Try to look at this as an opportunity"

My mind wondered to the little time I had spent with Jack during the few months we were together and the amount of time that we had arranged to meet up, only for me to never show because of how occupied I was here, yet he'd still wait, sometimes till three in the morning. But this is different now, there's no one to greet me when I return home at god knows what time with open arms and a smile on there face…but do I actually have a choice?

"Cant you let me work in Area 51? There is less much chance of danger there"

"And what could you do there? There is the exact same problem"  
>I had no answer. I had already accomplished so many things in my life- saving the world, making a difference- so many things that people could only ever dream about but for me is a reality…was a reality. For now, I'll guess I will just have to settle for being a dreamer. I was too upset to argue anymore, so just nodded my head.<p>

"We'll have to find someone to look after you"

"I'm not a massive fan of dogs" I say sarcastically.

"Well, do you have anyone who might be available? Family perhaps?" I though of my family, my father had died a half a year ago, my mother when I was just a teenager. My brother was off leading a life of his own with his family, he didn't deserve to have that taken away from him. There was nobody, and this made me realise how unloved I was and made me feel more lonelier than ever. And that is why I was even more shocked when I heard Jack's voice from somewhere behind me; "I will"


	5. Chapter 5

**I wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read my story and to those also reviewed so far. Especially to Daybreak96 for helping to bring Stargate back to life for me since we've become friends at school. Thank you to those who have said some suggestions and i'll try and take them into account, also i'm welcome to more so if there is something you want to see happen or someone you want to see come into the story i'll listen to your suggestions. Once again please review and i hope that you enjoy reading as much as i enjoy writing. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! **

Chapter 5: A new home (Jack POV)

_Why did I just say that? Why? Run! Run now you idiot!_ But my feet wont move as I wait for Carter's response, I'm too interested to move from her. She's as still as a statue, obviously just as surprised as I am from what my outburst. When neither of us speak the General does;

"Well, I guess that's settled then."

_What! No say something Carter, come on! I should say something donut!_ The piercing silence continues as neither of us attempt to move. Eventually the General stands up and helps Sam to me. I take her arm slowly, scared to touch her encase she flinches, but she doesn't resist even though I see a uncomfortable expression on her face as I take her. I've known her too long to know that she's pretending to be cool about all this, and that really the calm look on her face is just a mask to hide the shock beneath it as I lead her to my car and start the ignition. We drive in silence until we reach my home where I help her out, open the door and sit her on my couch. Her eyes are shut, at least she's recovered from the shock, but now it just looks like pain on her face probably due to her last memories of being here, I'm beginning to miss her looking shocked, I didn't like her hurting and so I break the silence.

"Would you like something to drink?" I ask nervously

Silence

"Carter?" Still nothing, I move away from her into the kitchen and put the kettle on for coffee, pulling a beer out the kitchen for myself, before deciding what the heck and grab her one as well, with any luck it will help the mood. As I return to the lounge I see her crying silently, eyes still shut tight, tears streaming down her face, and this time as my heart goes to her so do I. In all the years I've spent with Cater hardly ever does she cry, especially about herself. She's a strong woman, she usually only cries if someone dies. But surely this is like a death to her; death to the world as she knew it. And for those who believe seeing is believing surely this is death to the world all together. I sit down carefully next to her, not sure what to do or say. Lets face it, I'm the best at comforting, sometimes I just ending up saying the complete and utter wrong thing and making it worse, so I generally just settle for a big hug, which used to do the trick. Of course I wish I could just do that now, hug her and hold her and even tell her how much I'll always love her no matter what, whether she had no eyes or five, always.


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is dedicated to Sana/Daybreak96 for her birthday which is today, happy birthday. Hopefully this will make up for present which is going to be around two weeks late because of revising for exams, and then you will probably have to nag me for another week for me to actually remember to give it to you because I have the memory of a goldfish- sorry. I hope you enjoy this, and the same to everyone else. P.S thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, it means a lot to me, and any requests are welcome. ENJOY AND REVIEW!**

**Finally we reach a bit of Jack/Sam romance, sorry it to so long…**

Chapter 6: Wishes (Sam POV)

I didn't like crying, I'm stronger than tears but I'm so tired and I can fight them anymore. And now I'll have to spend the rest of my life with Jack, just as I always wanted, and just as he didn't, and that's what is killing me right now. He's sitting beside me, I just want him to hug me and comfort me even tell me that he loves me. But I know the chances of these are slim and the last one is astronomical, yet to my surprise he lifts his arm "Come 'ere"

I do as I'm told and lean into his chest as he wraps one arm and me, and I cry even harder and this time sound comes with it. He sighs and begins to comfort me. I thought it would be strange but it feels natural to be back in his arms, just like breathing… He pulls me in tighter as I start to gain control. Soon I'm just sitting there, eyes closed as he cradles me.

"You wanna beer?"

"Yeah", as he learns forward, I untangle myself. He passes me the drink and I down it in one.

"Whoa there Carter, take it easy"

"Oh yeah, why should I? What have I got to live for anymore Jack? All this made me realise how much I don't have and how much I've lost because of the Stargate programme."

"Just because your blind doesn't mean that you have to kill yourself, you can still have everything you want"

_I cant have you_, the small voice in my head says but instead I ask him "and what's surviving without living?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I'll never be able to do so many things which are important to me"

"Name them"

"Oh I don't know" I reply sarcastically getting aggravated at his childness and obliviousness to the world "I'll never be able to write or read, or see the world, or watch the stars, or dance, or go through the Stargate or fall in love…"

Silence. He stared at me blankly.

"Stand up"

"Why?"

"Just… trust me" _Why should I? Last time I trusted you, you let me down and broke my heart._

"Please" I sigh as I search for him to help me.

"Where are you?"

"You can do it by yourself" I get up and walk forward, and I'm impressed that I've not bumped into anything until I catch my foot on the table and trip… but his arms are there to catch me. I wait for him to let go but instead his arms slide down to my waist and as mine rest on his shoulders from where I fell. I hear music start playing and his feet start moving to the music and mine follow.

"I'm not the best dancer" I admit to him, "actually I think I have two left feet"

"Well that shouldn't be a problem, I have two right". As I laugh for what feels like the first time in forever, I move in closer and my arms slide around his neck and his around my waist. I put my head on his shoulder and all the pain and anger seems to melt away

"Sir"

"Yeah"

"Thanks"

He says nothing, but just keeps swaying me from side to side, as we dance into the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry its been so long since I wrote, mainly because of exams but also because I got review that actually made me read my story and I realised how cheesy and bad it was. Then I got lovely review from someone else and it made me feel like my story had meaning and that I should carry on, so thank you **_**werebeare**_** whoever you are. However, my favourite review is from **_**dpdp**_** who simply wrote "nice". Also I just wanted to point out this is ****not**** a Sam gets pregnant story…not that there's anything wrong with those but a reviewer brought this to my attention. So yeah…your reviews have great impact so make sure you review! Enjoy**

Chapter 7: Memories (Jack POV)

I shut the door as she shut her eyes to sleep. Grabbing a blanket I lie down on the couch and think the day through. What had I done? It was obviously breaking her heart being with me after I broke up with her, but she doesn't understand, I never wanted to leave her, but I knew it was for the best, well at least for her anyway, even if she doesn't realise it, because that is all that matters to me. I've got nothing else, no one else to care for except her, and no matter what it takes, no matter how hard I will always do anything for her. My mind turned to the days we had shared together. They seemed such a long time ago and so much had changed since then. How happy we were, and how everything I gave up was worth it because she was so perfect, even giving up General which was so important to me. It was hard to adjust at first, I'm the sort of person who needs to be doing something like kicking Gaoul'd ass instead of just sitting around, I guess I'm just too fidgety. The years I had waited to be with her were worth it and I wanted to spend every second for the rest of forever with her, no matter what.

But every second I spent with her was also harder and I kept looking back to see myself getting further and further away. Everyday our relationship grew even more than I thought it possibly could considering how long I'd known her and I learnt so much from her- and I'm not just talking about science, being single for so long made me forget how you learn so much from the people you fall in love with, what you learn about them and what you learn about yourself. Sam brought out a side in me nobody else could, not even Sara, and everyday held a new surprise as I fell in love with her a little more.

I would die for her, that's just how much I love her. I know that she loves me too and that is why I distanced myself from her and finally accepted the Washington job. She had wanted me to take it. She knew how I grew restless of doing nothing, especially when she was at work and I was left alone by myself, but I didn't care. She felt bad because I was so alone and she blamed herself, and I guess that's why she let me go when I told her that I didn't love her anymore, even though she must have realised it wasn't the truth- at least I hope she knows, she wouldn't surely believe the one time I told her I didn't love her in comparison to all the times I had told her I had? Of course I wanted to be with her, and of course I still loved her, because when you do fall in love with someone, a small part of them stays in your heart forever, and that part of you will always love them. Sam was a big part of my life, and a big part of my heart, and so I thought of her everyday, what she was doing, who she was with, whether she was hurt and whether she was thinking of me. Sometimes I did a quick computer search just to make sure she was still alive and okay. I wanted to be with her, more than I've wanted anything, but the point is like I said, I would give up anything for Carter, even her.

**I know what your thinking, Jack would not have commitment issues with Sam but be patient!- all will be revealed soon... (thumbs up for being melodramatic)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: In mind's eye

The days turned into weeks as Jack helped me learn brail and cope with my new life. I attended lots of classes and everyday seemed to be a little easier. He also bought me a nice pair of shades to stop the staring and even a golden retriever guide dog called Shadow so he needn't be at my constant beck and call, and also so I had some sort of independence which made me feel good. There were definitely some things that had their problems, not all books were written in brail and where too long and complicated to transfer, so for some books which I had always wanted to read, Jack had to do his best at reading to me, such as Einstein's Guide to Further Astrophysics and Quantum theories, which was very tricky for him considering he didn't even realise it was in English. Next he helped me to write again, and although messy at first my words soon became legible. It was at this time I started to realise what he was trying to do. Slowly he was ticking off the things on my list of 'I'll never do again'- next thing on the list: to see the world- and I would be amazed to see his solution to that one, then again this was The O'Neill I was talking about here, and he seemed to have a way of pulling miracles out his butt, even when the chances were….well, astronomical, _'note to self Sam: find new word to replace astronomical._'

One day he took me on a plane to New York, and led me up the Empire State building and outside.

"It's not the world but it's a large part of it" he told me as an explanation.

"But I can't see it, so it doesn't mean anything" I said disheartened.

"Surely after all these years you would have learnt that just because you cant see something doesn't mean it isn't real, and that practically anything is possible"

"So…you want me to believe I can see it? Imagine it?" I said trying to unscramble his words. I had got very good at translating O'Neillish, usually known as childish ideas and gobbledygook, but strangely seemed to have real meaning and somehow worked.

"Exactly" He stood behind me and put his hands next to mine on the rail. "Close your eyes" he whispered in my ear. The feel of his breath sent shivers down my spine as I did as I was told. He started naming and describing all the buildings and where they were, where the sea touched the land and even where the Statue of Liberty could be seen in the distance and where they would come in my mind's eye, and so slowly I started drawing a picture of the city in my head.

Around an hour later I finished my masterpiece and stood back to admire it, proud of what I had managed to do. I thanked Jack, of course restraining myself from being too thankful, but I really appreciated everything he was doing. This was a technique I incorporated into each day and after three months had passed since Jack took me in, I was imaging every moment in my head, using memories or Jack's descriptions and it was like I had my own eyes once more, yet strangely in some ways better, I could change the things I didn't like, sometimes subconsciously, and sometimes the pictures containing Jack were not quite as they should have been. The main thing I noticed was that when appearing Jack would always be younger, his hair only very slightly silver at the sides but otherwise a light brown, just like when we first meet; a handsome young man who had a cheeky grin and said about liking woman.

"What are you smiling at?" I heard Jacks voice interrupting the wonderful thoughts of his toned physic.

"Nothing" I called back. _'Concentrate Sam you shouldn't be thinking about things like this, you're an airforce officer…wait a sec, no you're not anymore… go ahead' _My mind wondered back and replayed that memory of when we first meet….'_we never did have that arm wrestle…'_


	9. Chapter 9

**I was just thinking….does anyone actually read this boldness crap?**

**Maybe I should write something really juicy so that if you don't, your missing out…I got nothing- the only thing I can think of is that my best friend is les, no bi, no pan, no bi…something. Thank you for reviewing and please continue to do so. Seeing lovely reviews when I wake up makes my day.**

**Due to the above this chapter is dedicated to by lesbian/bisexual/pan/whatever the heck she wants to be best friend…even though she is never going to read this because she had never heard of Stargate and when I tried to explain it to her I got to "is an American Air force Sci-fi based on space travel and Egyptian mythology" and she got confused so...**

Chapter 9: A step through-one last time (Sam POV)

"So…where are we going exactly?" I ask curiously as he helped me into his car, my mind racing and coming up with the possibilities.

"You'll see"

The journey was quite short but as each moment went on my excitement grew and I started crossing off possibilities from the list. Of course I had some few good ideas, a space centre for my enjoyment or knowing Jack probably an IHOP to celebrate MacGyver's 20th Birthday (he's only obsessed with it though because he thinks he looks like the main character). Not that it really bothers me much because I quite like it too. This however was too long a journey to the nearest IHOP so maybe not, and an idea suddenly came to mind- but surely the SGC where too busy, then again Jack had been the previous general and did have a pretty high authority even though he was retired. We arrived finally and I was right as another thing on my list of I'll never do again was to be checked off; Going through the Stargate. I was glad to see Teal'c again, even though he had only come to visit us a few weeks ago but his stays were short as duty called.

I got changed pretty successfully by myself except for my t-shirt which I ended up having on back to front for the first half an hour as Jack thought it would be funny to not tell me for a while. The others on the base thought this was cruel, but Jack would have done it to anyone and he was just treating me as normal, besides eventually I saw the funny side of it..eventually…when I got my own back by asking Teal'c to stick a sticky note on his butt saying "stick any unwanted items up here". I know I shouldn't of but nobody really cared, the Stargate programme was definitely more relaxed, the new girl of SG-1, Vala, even had long hair and pranced about flirting with the officers, if that is not against regulations I don't know what is.

After a while I geared up. I had Jack, Teal'c, Vala, Cameron Mitchell (the new leader of SG1) and also SG-3, and even Jonas who had returned to help the team without Daniel- much to Jack's annoyance, I don't think he ever really got along with him though.

As we walked up the ramp I felt ever so grateful to Jack who must have fought so hard to get them to agree to this. The SGC had wanted me to go to some safe world already visited, but Jack insisted that this would be a real mission, new planet and proper adventure, so of course Jack went over board and now we were going to a possible home world of Ba'al- Jack really doesn't do things by halves. Everyone stepped through as Jack and I stepped up to and stood before the shimming pool of water.

"I'm fine" I said not wanting to let him know I was nervous. I needed to do this.

"Actually I was going to say ladies first" he said smiling and I know that he remembered.

"So are you going to push me through this time as well?" I meant it as a joke but my voice came out nervous and so my secret was revealed. I knew him too well to know he would be rising an eyebrow at me, curious, and so I explained. "It's just, I've been through this gate so many times. I've never imagined it being like this. After so long I stopped worrying about what could be on the other side. I mean I never forgot the threat, the danger that I might never come back, but all the times we got lucky I just…This is the last time I will ever see another world, maybe even this world, what happens if there is something on the other side that is worse than last time?"

Jack didn't answer straight away. He just took my hand in his as I waited for him to say something sentimental or deep about life that would make me feel better.

"Why do you think we have explosives?"

And with that, he squeezed my hand and we took a step through the gate on last time.

**I was wondering whether anyone had any questions as when I read fanfics I always wonder about the writer and how there writing and stories reflects them so I give you permission to ask any questions but no stupid or scary questions please.. REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and so I would like to take this time answer questions that I asked people to write if they wanted….except I didn't get a single one…. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING, even if you have already reviewed, review again, review the same chapter 3 times if you want to, they're actually addictive and they are my writing fuel, I need them!**

**This chapter is dedicated to BillieAlexMiku and SirenLunaCross, my school friends who read this ff even though they have never seen Stargate- and in response to your message/review (cant remember which it was) ****Jaffa's are not biscuits**** so are not related to Jaffa cakes in any way (although it would be so awesome if they were)**

Chapter 10: Hide and Seek

We reached the other side and caught up with the others where I let go of Sam's hand in case I started getting asked any questions, and it also allowed me to get a firm grip on my sidearm in case we ran into any trouble. As we reached the malp it indicated signs of life and so I kept close to Sam and helped her climb over boulders and roots on our way to where it detected the forms, yet she was managing surprisingly well and I knew that the others thought so too by the look of shock on their faces, resulting in me bursting with pride.

As we reached the town and searched for people I took Sam to one side to make sure she was okay

"How ya doin' Carter?"

"Fine, sir. Do you think I'm annoying the others? I feel like I'm just a hindrance."

"Carter, they would never think that, and no, with a brain like yours you could never be a hindrance. If anyth-". The sound of blasts caused me to stop and I grabbed her and ran into the woods for cover.

"What's happening?" Carter asked, surprised by my sudden movement.

"It's Ba'al, and some new recruits by the looks of it, they're young and unskilled though…I'll be right back"

"Wait" she said trying to grab hold of me, I couldn't just leave her alone when she couldn't see a damn thing.

"Ok, I'll stay but if things turn nasty…" I heard the breaking of twigs from somewhere nearby, causing me to go silent.

"Sir?" she asked prompting me to finish my sentence. I grabbed Carter and covered her mouth with my hand and pulled her behind a tree, holding her in front of me. Of course not being able to see she fidgeted and bit my hand, confused.

"Ouch, Carter! What is it with you and doing that to me?" I whispered. Immediately she stood still once she knew it was me. "I think there's someone there", we held our breath, hoping whoever it was had moved away. The sound had stopped and we started to relax as I let go of her, as the coast seemed clear. But my sixth sense suddenly told me otherwise as I shoved Carter to the floor and blasted the Jaffa in the face with a few bullets causing him to fall on top of Sam. Not sure what was happening she started kicking out and tried to get up to help me. I dragged the body off her and got down to my knees to explain to here that everything was okay, and then helped her up. We hurriedly walked to the edge of the woods to watch what was happening. All the Jaffa were sprawled across the ground dead, and all SGC personal had turned on Ba'al who was deflecting the bullets with his force shield, god those things were annoying. He looked at us as we approached glaring at Sam and his eyes glowed "you are meant to be dead! I ordered my last Jaffa to kill you" he shouted at her.

_Right. That did it._ Anger welded up inside me, _nobody dare touches Carter and gets a way with it, let alone gets to rub it in my face that it was him that did this to her, that ruined her life, now he is going to pay._ I lifted my gun and started blasting recklessly.

"Sir it's no use, shooting at a force shield wont get you anywhere." Of course she was right, I just wanted him to make him die for what he did, but acting on hate is not the way forward, but then again, I couldn't see any other options. Suddenly I remembered how the knife had gone through Apophis' force field when we meet with the Nox a long time ago. Grabbing a knife from my back pocket and threw it at his face, unfortunately it was deflected, unlike all those years ago. I guess I hadn't taken into consideration how much Goa'uld technology had advanced over the years. It didn't work!" I said picking up my gun and blasting once more "You got any better ideas because I damn well wanna hear them!"

"Actually, I think I just might" she said with her special smile.

**REVIEW AND ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS PLEASE **


	11. Chapter 11

**Just wanted to say that the song to go with this story would be Because you loved me by Celine Dion- SirenLunaCross you better be having a happy fit. Forget the whole question thing- I just was trying to make sure that people were reading this because it is really important stuff and just ended up sounding horrid. Also wanted to say I feel so awesome because I have a space telescope now in my room which is really old and doesn't work that well, but I like looking through it and pretending to be Jack in the first episode – plus I can spy on the neighbours **

**Finally we get down to proper romance. Helen, Emma, your not allowed to read this because I will get really embarrassed next time I see you because I know you think I don't have a romantic side considering I don't like people getting together in programmes etc (with the one of exception of Jack and Sam).**

**This is dedicated to all the people who know in their hearts that Jack and Sam were just meant to be together…**

Chapter 11: Shooting Star

That night I took Sam home with the rest of the guys and cracked open a bottle of Champagne to celebrate the end of the Goa'uld. That was it, finally it was all over. All those years of fighting had come to an end, and it was all because of Sam. Her amazing plan that had saved us and killed Ba'al. God knows how she did it, especially not being able to see, but she shoot him right in the chest, even though that was meant to be my job, but then again nothing ever goes to plan and everything turned out alright eventually. While the rest of the guys hugged and congratulated her on her bravery, brains and shocker instincts, I just admired her from afar, beaming at her so proud of everything she had done. Her guide dog, Shadow, came bounding up to me wanting a fuss which I granted, either that or he needed to pee, and after deciding against trying to get him to piss all over Jonas, I let him out thankful for the escape and inhaled the night air before wandering over to my favourite spot by my pond and thought everything through about Sam, starting to doubt whether I had made the right choice breaking up with her, I still loved her so very much, I thought I might have been able to let go over all this time but I never could, instead it just kept getting harder….

A while later, I heard Sam calling my name, I don't know how long I had been zoned out but everyone had left and it was just us outside in the night. Looking up at the stars I noticed that it was a beautiful night. Taking Sam's hand I lead her up the ladder near my house and onto my roof and explained to her where we were.

"Oh, I've always wanted to come to the O'Neill secret hideout" she said smiling. I took her hand and lead her to a hammock (a new addition) near my telescope and I sat down. Pulling her next to me, we laid down side by side with my arm around her waist.

"It's a beautiful night" I explained to her.

"What's it like?" she asked, probably preparing to paint the picture in her mind. And so I explained about the stars and the constellations, as well as the moon until finally she was finished

"Your right, it is beautiful"

"This is where I was when they called me back to the Stargate program" I thought out loud. "I've not really been up here that much since then, so much is different know. I wish I could go back and do it all again but in a different way" I saw the confusion in Sam's face but decided against explaining what I meant about wishing I had found a way of being involved in the program and still being with her.

"Jack? Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Don't take this the wrong way but why have you been alone all this time?" I thought about the question not sure what to tell her or how to answer, I didn't know how to tell her I could never love anyone other than her.

"Perhaps for the same reasons you were" I replied hoping she would drop the topic.

"What, every boyfriend you've ever had has died?"

"No" I said smiling "firstly because I've never had a boyfriend, although at one point I was scared that Daniel was gonna ask me out, because until he married Shar'ray, I honestly thought he was…" I paused hoping she would catch on, although she just looked confused. "Never mind. And secondly that isn't true because Pete never died, well it was a close one which that shot but you cant say that all your boyfriends have died…just most of them"

"Actually, Pete shot himself a month after I called off the engagement with his police gun"

Oppps, when are you going to shut your fat gob Jack? "I'm so sorry Sam"

"It's okay. I didn't really love him anyway" I remembered that, when she came to my back yard and told me about having second thoughts of the wedding. I wonder what would have happened if Johnson hadn't of been there? I had decided then that I wanted to be with her and that I would find a way to be with her. How wrong it had all gone though…

"Jack? You've gone really quiet, is everything alright?" she asked calling me back.

"Yeah" I said looking back up at the stars and something caught my eye "Sam there's a shooting star, make a wish". We both closed our eyes and I took her hand and wished. Opening my eyes I looked at her, propping myself up on one arm so I was leaning slightly over her. "Your so brave Sam….I'm proud of you. I always have been". Slowly I reached out my other hand and stroked her face with the back of my fingers, he skin was so soft.

She smiled as she slid her hand around my neck and pulled me down so our lips could meet. She paused for the slightest of seconds, my heart racing before they met. As they touch everything just comes flooding back, the love and memories, as a spark that feels like I've just been hit by a zat-gun shots through every inch of my body. Pulling me closer she wraps her leg around me and I run my fingers through her hair, just like I used to.

**I am sorry if you are offended by the gay pairing suggestion. I did it purely for SirenLunaCross who is obsessed with putting people of the same sex together in her head, and if she had of watched Stargate she definitely would have put Jack and Daniel together somehow, and probably Sam and Janet, although I never saw why people thought they could be a lesbian couple, I only saw them as friends :s… PLEASE REVIEW, EVEN IF ITS JUST ABOUT THE GAY PAIRINGS **


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you to all those who have been so supportive and I really appreciate it for trying to make me feel better, your very special to me, even though I don't know you and so I write this for you...

**I love thee, I love but thee; with a love that shall not die; till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old ~ Bayard Taylor**

**Warning: very cheesy dramatic romantic chapter heading your way**

Chapter 12: Last but not Least

Everything seemed to disappear and it was just like all that time ago when we were together. I rolled onto my back bringing her with me and we quickly drew back for breath before I pulled her close again. My fingers wandered through her golden hair and pulled her face closer before sliding back down to her waist again. Then I started to release her and pull back, this had got a bit too far. I pinned her down and then sat up with my back to her, both of us breathing heavily, silence engulfed the moment as the tension grew more unbearable; neither spoke, nor knew what to say to the other.

"Jack?" I closed my eyes and sighed, bowing my head "Jack…I'm so sorry" _What was I doing? I had broken up with her and now I was leading her on again._

"Jack say something"

"I'm…..fine Sam" _It hadn't worked, breaking up with her and distancing myself was all for nothing, she clearly was still in love with me and I was madly in love with her._ So badly I couldn't control the urge to roll back over and kiss her again and so gave in to it. _You've really screwed it up this time haven't ya'? Shut up, can't you see I'm busy'_ I tell the voice in my head as I kiss Sam's neck and her dazzling smile lights up on her face.

I wondered about why she still loved me, how she stilled loved me, especially after what I did to her. Had she just fallen in love with me again in the last few months we had spent together or had she never stopped loving me. Maybe it was that the feelings were still in their deep inside and us being together had brought them to life and woken them from their dormant slumber. I hoped this was the right option. I never wanted her to live with pain, that's not what she deserved, she deserved more, she deserved happiness in everyway possible.

I had never not loved her; she was so amazing and special. God I had forgotten how good a kisser she was and she made me proud that she was so good and a scientist- good girls are good kissers. I thanked whoever was up there for bringing her into this world and I thanked the Stargate programme for bringing her into my life, and I cursed myself for ever letting her go, but I had done for a reason…a very important reason that suddenly came back to me. Why cant we just pause a moment and have no concern for nothing else? For reason, for time, for what is right, for what our head is telling us especially when the heart says another? If we all just lived on heart and soul we would be free and maybe the world would be a better place. But we don't, time ticks on as we age and our heads decide to not get along with the heart, can't all my body parts just get along nicely? Warning bells are starting up again distracting me from the love of my life. Maybe its time to tell her the truth…and let go of her once more, this time for the last time, because when I do I'll go somewhere where she can never be with me while her heart beats, and mine stops still…


	13. Chapter 13

**Big thank you to all those reviewing and also a even bigger thank you to werebeare who helped me with where this story was going and is also an amazing reviewer so thank you and you're awesome. Finally we find out what happened between them...**

Chapter 12: The Past

Jack stopped kissing my neck and looked down at me.

"Is everything alright?" I asked worried

"God damn it Carter!" _So we were back to Carter?_

"What?" I was getting aggravated now, I still didn't understand what I had done wrong.

"I shouldn't be letting myself do this again"

"Because loving me is such a crime?" Sarcasm was seeping its way into my voice

"I can't let myself be with you"

"Why Jack? Why don't you enlighten me" He didn't answer for a little while "Don't tell me it's because you don't love me, because I don't believe you anymore" I'm getting frustrated now but try to calm myself. "Please" I ask softly

"I took myself away from you for a reason, why can't you just except that" he said through gritted teeth and he got up and walked away from me.

"Jack, come back! Jack don't leave me!" As I said these words I realised that they were exactly what I had said the last time. And just like last time Jack just walked away. I rolled onto my side so my back was facing where he had left, my eyes started blurring with tears. I didn't want this to happen again. _What had I done wrong? Why was this all happening again? _I realised that this time something had to be different, I couldn't just lose him again, I'm not one to just stand around and not do anything. With this I got up and eventually climbed down the ladder. "Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I wont find you Jonathon O'Neill. You can't hide from me forever" _Although knowing you, you'll probably try_. I know where he'll be; in his favourite spot by the pond which is where I head. I reach into the darkness and feel him standing in front of me. "Explain to me Jack, I deserve to know why I can't be with you. You said last time that it was because you didn't love me anymore but I don't believe you- why would you would of done all those things for me?"

He turned slowly to look at me and sighed. "Sam…I'm getting Alzheimer's disease"

I stared blankly trying to remember what that was. I'm the wrong sort of doctor for this but I scramble through all the knowledge in my head looking for something on this when it hits me…"dementia?"

"Eventually" I stood there shocked, not having a clue what to say but he continued explaining. "All the mucking about with my head with all that ancient stuff probably helped set it off. It was one of the reasons I retired. Everything I've done, all the amazing things I've seen and how much I love you…I'll never be able to remember. I wont even know who you are, I wont even know who I am. I was planning on retiring from Washington and just…..I would rather die Sam than lose who I am, I'm scared"

In all the years of watching Jack handle danger and torture, and face death head on, getting out only at the last second, never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect Jack to say he was scared. "You…you want…to kill yourself? Don't be ridiculous Jack" He wasn't the type of person to do that. Then again I remembered when Daniel explained about what happened to Charlie and how Jack had no concern for his life and that's why he wanted to do the Stargate programme. But killing himself? Anger and hurt build up inside, and I didn't know whether to hit him or kiss him, so I did both- he responded to neither.

"You listen here Jack. I don't ever want to hear that you want to die because I will never let you go. I love you, and I'm staying with you, we will get through his together and I will help you remember, I promise you that. "

"Sam you don't deserve that. You have your own life still to live, don't let anyone or anything get in the way, go and get someone who is able to love you and care for you when they're old and grey instead of not even being able to remember who you are. You deserve someone your own age, someone who will live to the same age as you, who wont leave you widowed young, who can live long enough to see their grandchildren, to recognise their grandchildren. And you deserve someone smarter, someone you can discuss Einstein's laws in astrophysics and quantum theories with, let alone be able to read them to you, someone who can understand you better and listen to you properly."

I stared at him in amazement. "What the biggest load of Einstein's gravitational crap and Archimedes rising level piss I have ever heard."

He laughed but still looked guilty. "Sam-"

"No you listen here" I interrupt "do you honestly think I care about your age or how smart you are? Do you really think that after all the years I've loved you it would matter to me? I love you for you. I love you because your older than me and I love you because your not as smart as me. I love every part of you, no matter how old or dumb you are. I love you so much I will spend everyday when you're ill bringing you back to me and helping you to remember who you are. You have looked after me and taught me so much in these last few months, and I will spent every second until my dying moment doing the same for you. I am always going to love you, no matter what…"

Next thing I know I'm being pulled into his arms and his lips find mine. I kiss him like I've never done before as he does me, love bursting from my heart and pouring out of me, reaching every part of me. Unfortunately, I'm a little too powerful over him and he isn't quite as strong as he used to be; he stumbles backwards falling off the edge into the pond and we laugh in-between kisses. I couldn't give a damn until I feel something nibble at my neck "I thought there weren't any fish in here"

"There isn't" he smiled kissing me.

**I hope you enjoyed and please please REVIEW, more chapters to come and I need some writing fuel please especially as i only got a few reviews for last chapter. I get a lot of story alerts or author alerts sort of thing so if you can press the button that makes you get an alert when i update, you can also press the review button- its not that hard promise, and if your nice and review lots i might mention you, plus I've made a pact that I'll try and reply to all reviewers because your very special and mean a lot to me and i want to show it. Anomalous reviews welcome...PLEASE REVIEW**


	14. Chapter 14

**Big thanks to wearbeare for checking this etc. This is dedicated to all those who have stuck with the story and supported it- thank you and this is for you. Sorry for any mistakes, I tried to check it but am terrible at english and also was playing Pokemon when writing this. Also massive apology for it being so long since I wrote but my computer decided to do something called 'looping' obviously it went to P4X-639- one of the best episodes ever :)**

**Oh yeah...here it is. Kinda crapy but Enjoy and review please**

**Chapter 14: Always**

Ten minutes later I'm lying on my couch with Sam in my arms getting warm by the fire and just enjoying each others company, not speaking, just holding each other and which is good enough for me.

"Sam?" I ask pausing the moment

"Yes Jack?"

"Can I ask you what you wished for with the shooting star?"

"Usually I would say no because it wouldn't come true, but as it already has so I guess it's okay; you"

"I'm yours" I said smiling.

"What about you?"

"Guess" I say a playful smile spreading across my face.

"Me?" The smile vanished, and was replaced with guilt

"That would have been the nicest option, I feel terrible I asked for something more selfish"

"More selfish than asking for another person's life, I don't think so sir, Jack…sorry it's a bit of a habit. Was it something to do with your illness, that you would be able to remember? I wouldn't blame you for thinking of that"

"No, although that would have been a very good one and would mean a lot better life for you, this sounds so bad" I admit getting even guiltier.

"I give up, I cant think of anyone else"

"Sam you always think of something"

"Not this time, can you just tell me know?"

I was silence for a while before I decided to answer her: "I wished that I could look into and get lost in your wonderful blue eyes and have them look back into mine, just one more time"

She sat in silence taken aback by my wish, not knowing what to say which is strange for her. Eventually she spoke standing ; "Get up"

"Why?"

"Just trust me" I smiled remembering . I did so and then I turned on the CD player like she told me to. It played Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers, just like the night she first arrived here.

"You taught me to imagine every moment so it was just like seeing again. Just because you can see doesn't mean you don't need to do it too. Maybe it's time you tried it." I stared at her as she pulled my arms around her "close your eyes" she whispered and I obeyed. As we danced to the music I imagined her dazzling blue eyes staring deep back into mine and touching my soul. I loved her so incredibly much, was so proud of everything she did and was, and how she had taught me- just because I have eyes doesn't mean I see everything, sometimes it's the power of imagination that makes your life just slightly more worth living. I knew from this moment that I was never going to let go, never going to stop loving.

As the song finished I opened my eyes again and was sad to see her eyes unfocused once more. Laying back down on the couch she said to me "Thank you"

"For what?" I replied confused. She was the one who was given up everything for me

"Making everything I thought impossible become real for me"

"I thought that the job would have taught you to believe anything, with all the weird and wonderful things we did each day"

"As much as I loved my job I wished I had of resigned so I could have been with you all these years, done it differently"

"Sam, don't be sad about hasn't been, think about what could be". I wrapped my arms around her again.

She tilted her head up searching for my lips which gave hers a kiss

"And thanks" she said afterwards

"For what?"

"Being there for me"

"Always" I said hugging her closer. "Lets go to bed" I suggested getting up and holding her hand, turning off the light on the way out I said into the darkness

"I love you"

"I love you too"

**The end...or is it?**

**In answer to the question above, no it's not, there is still more to come- so please review. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Again thank you to all reviewers, especially all yous like dpdp, werebeare, daybreak96, LadyMo who are my usual reviewers and are very kind to bother, this chapter is dedicated to you. I hope this justifies what we have all were waiting for with Jack and Sam. **

Chapter 15: The day I waited 8 years for

I had never been so nervous in all my life; despite all the times I had prepared to die as I had walked thought the Stargate. I smoothed a crease in my dress, as someone handed me a bouquet of roses. My hair was long now; Jack had paid for it to look nice on this special day. It was wavy and twirled round until it came in front of my shoulder. My dress was white with thin straps, quite plain yet elegant, and matched the flowers.

I was able to see slightly now, possibly something to do with the protein in my blood left by Jolinar, I had some condition where it was like looking through a straw, but at least it was something. The doctors were amazed, they thought that the Goa'uld device that the grenade had set off had blinded me, as well as all the dirt and sand that had got into my eyes. And I saw it as a miracle too.

"Are you ready to proceed Samantha Carter?" Teal'c asked me from behind. It would be weird hearing nobody calling me that anymore I thought smiling. I took Teal'c's arm as the music played and we took a step down the aisle. I moved my head and managed to get a view of Jacks face looking the happiest I had ever seen him, the type of smile he only gave when there was cake coming. He was beaming at me, his cheeky grin and I returned my special smile- the one only for him.

"You look beautiful Sam, like always" he said as I reached him and he took my hands. I realised from this point on this was the best decision I had ever made and thought of how silly I had been to nearly lose him so many times. Still hand in hand, we turned to face the front, and the wedding began.

**************************stargate********************

Cheers erupted from the crowd as we broke apart, finally husband and wife after all these years. Everyone swarmed to us, first was Teal'c pulling us into a bone braking hug and saying "I have waited for this day many years O'Neill, I am most pleased that finally I can see my friends so happy together"

"Thanks T!" I managed to get out before being pulled into hugs from just about everyone else. After a little while I finally managed to find my way back to my wife. I wrap my arms around her and we go get some pictures taken, hopefully they will help me remember this day when my disease takes over. I don't let these thoughts get my down though, this is our wedding day and Sam deserves to be happy, we'll have enough years together to worry about other things and I smile with the thought of the time ahead. I look down at my wife smiling in my arms, "Cake?" I ask. She leads me over to where the massive cake stands, (this was the only thing I was in charge of when it came to organising the wedding), I'm glad she has some sight back, it makes her happy and hopefully it will be easier for her in the future without me there to help her, of course I still would have married her if she hadn't had got her sight back anyway. We cut the cake together and share the first piece. She takes another handful and shoves it all over my face laughing, next thing I know a cake fight has erupted and Sam and I take cover under the table. I signal for her to go left and it's just like we're on the team again kicking Goa'uld ass, except with cake. Sam was now head of inspection of artefacts that are brought back through the Stargate, and was enjoying being able to work in her old office in the SGC again. Of course practically the whole of the command were here, now fighting with cake. I lobbed a piece and got Teal'c in the face. He stopped smiling and raised an eyebrow at me taking a bigger chunk of cake than I thought humanly possible in his hand. I grabbed Sam's arm "Honey, I think its time to go on our honeymoon" I say and we run like hell.

****************StargateJackSam*******************

He burst through the door laughing with me in his arms in the 'just married lift'. He swung me backwards and forwards, preparing to throw me onto the bed. "One, two…three!" I landed on the bed and then was bounced up slightly as he jumped down next to me "God I must be fat" he says

"Thanks"

"No I didn't mean it like that; I just meant I need to cut down on the cake". Still giggling I snuggled into his arms and he lays over me smiling, stroking my hair.

"So…Mrs O'Neill" I smile at the sound of my new name, but then it vanishes as I remember there is still something we needed to discuss, this was going to be hard for him and I knew it. I sat up swinging my legs round to the floor, my back to my new husband, where did I begin?

"Sam?" he said sitting next to me "what's wrong?" I turned and stared into his chocolate brown eyes. "You know you said you would give me everything I wanted? There is one more thing I would like". He didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue. "Well, I've been thinking for a while, and I know your probably not going to like it because of what has happened but maybe if-"

"Sam, cut the crap" he says starting to get worried. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Jack I want a family" I wished I could see more of his face instead of just his eyes, but then again, they said it all. Pain. Hurt. Confusion. She'd expected this, she learnt long ago what Charlie's death had done to him, but she deserved to tell the truth and he deserved to hear it.

"Sam…I'm so sorry, I really want to give you everything you want but what happened with Charlie…" his voice began to waver as the memories came flooding back.

"Jack, listen to me. I would never leave you or let you leave. I would never make you feel guilty, and a thing like that never happens twice… I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. I can't imagine the pain you must have gone through loosing him and I understand that you probably would never want to go through that again. But surely you had great times with him, you could have that again Jack" I took his hand and looked at him.

"Don't look at me like that. You know I cant…."he sighed "Sam what am I going to do with you?" I didn't answer just looked down guiltily. "This is will make you happy?" I nodded still looking down. "Well, I guess 8 years is long enough to morn" Shocked I looked at him.

"Jack, are you seriously contemplating this?"

He looked at me "Yeah I am. You're right, the good times I spent with him…you deserve your turn."

"But you've already done so much for me" I said confused by his change of heart.

"So have you" he said smiling and pulling me into his arms. I kissed him pulling off his jacket but he pulled back. "I haven't finished" I waited patiently "I have one condition"- I started getting worried, he looked too serious for my liking

"Sure" I said thinking probably he'd want me to do something like dress up in my dress blues

… "can we get another dog?"

**Okay what do you think people's? Please review. For the wedding description I was trying to make it like the picture in umm…point of view? Well the alternate Sam one so yeah picture that picture of them. Hope you like- I had to involve cake for Jacks sake. Please please please please review. Only one more chapter to go!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Here we are, the final part my friends, and I hope you enjoy, I'm actually sad to be coming to the end because I've really enjoyed it and so hopefully will write some other stories of my imagination to share with you. This chapter is firstly dedicated to all you who have stuck with the story till the end through my terrible grammar and mistakes and cheesy writing-thank you. Secondly, this is dedicated to my granddad, and although we really don't get along anymore, well we hate each other, and I know that you will be leaving us soon, know that when I watch Stargate or read a fanfic, I think of when we used to watch the episodes together after school everyday and place bets on what we thought was going to happen, how I would always win until that big loss where I bet that Pete would die somehow, probably by Jack blowing his head off, but it turned out he would actually be shot, and he would still survive. I'm glad that this programme brought us somehow together, it proves that this show was so much more than a tv programme :) **

**In the words of Teal'c doing the overvoice thingy: And now…the conclusion**

Chapter 15: Love in the Light (Sam POV)

This was it. I was ready. I had gathered some personal belongings together; pictures, letters, things of sentimental value that contained precious memories of my wonderful life. I had said goodbye to my children and their children, written my will and now it was time to go.

I wasn't scared of dying. Jack had gone two days ago and now I was going to join him; I wasn't going to kill myself, I was just letting go, like falling asleep. My sight had pretty much returned to normal now and what the world had become frightened me. Overdeveloped, over popularised, over powerful. This world 82 years into my life was madness. I didn't like what I saw, I wished I could go back to using happy memories and painting pictures like I used to but Jack wasn't here anymore; who would describe the buildings, the people, the stars? Jack was dead.

We had a wonderful life together, having each other, having a family, growing old together. The last years together had made up for our time apart and I loved him so dearly. And when his disease finally took over, most of the time, he found a way back to me. And even on the days where he did not, we still fell in love as different people. I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy, but I couldn't have cared less for just helping him, bringing him back and seeing the look in his eyes when he could remember who I was and remember who and what he was made up for all the times it broke my heart when he forgot again. People saw it as a miracle, he seemed to find his way back more than people thought possible, but me, I just saw it as love. Pure, deep, unconditional, everlasting love.

In my hands were two things, a letter and the picture of Jack and I at the wedding, Jack smiling at the camera, me laughing in his arms- I remember that day like it was yesterday, even though so much has happened since then. The other thing, the letter, was something I would guard with my life, a letter written by Jack all those years ago and I reread it for the millionth time…

_My dearest darling,_

_I am usually a man of few words which you know all too well. But it is time I faced the facts and this is something which needs to be done. _

_We both know what will be happening soon, and I cannot apologise enough for what you will go through and the suffering you will endure when you see me look at you and I wont know who you are- it will break your heart. I am so terribly sorry. Listen to me Samantha, no matter what happens I love you and will always love you. More than anyone, more than Sara, more than the whole world put together, more than my life, more than I thought any human being could, let alone I could love anyone without exploding. I do not have the words to describe how I feel about you. They do not exist for they are too pure to come from the mouth of a man and too complex for the mind to understand and describe how I feel for you, and only can be felt in your heart and soul. I can only hope that I have showed my love for you in our time together. When I look at you, you take my breath away, your eyes bring me to life and your kisses cause this sensation in the pit of my stomach that makes me know in my heart that we were meant to be together. _

_You have been an amazing mother, and supported me going through the difficulties of being a parent again. An amazing woman, mother and wife. I love you- I will say it a billion times and it shall never equal how much I actually do. You're such a beautiful person, on the outside and on the inside. Your special too and so remarkably smart which despite my confusion I am very proud of. There is nobody like you on this earth- a national treasure, my treasure and despite your reassurances I still feel like I do not deserve you, that's how much of a wonder and a jewel you are to this country, this world and to me. _

_I do not know how to repay you for everything you have done. What you have taught me, how you have saved my life and how you've stuck up with a grumpy old loser for such a long time. And just because you're such a caring unselfish person, you take it a step further by looking after me when my childish confused brain decides to go wacko on me; you brilliant wife. I could never make up for what the future years will do to you, but believe me and trust me when I say I will make every second of my life trying to equal it, even though there are not enough seconds in the whole of time itself, till the universe ends, to actually do so. And when I do depart know that I shall be waiting for you, whenever you are ready, and while I am waiting I will be watching over you, so you are never alone. _

_I have loved you for a very long time; I do not remember when exactly or how it started as I was in the middle of it before I knew it had began. I had always thought you beautiful, god when you first walked into the SGC I felt alarm bells going off in my head and my heart was going like I'd just pulled out of a simulated bombing run at an F16 at 8+ G's, but it was when we had on those god forsaken armbands from the Tokra, and we were stuck on that ship where I thought I was going to lose you when it really hit me; I remember seeing your eyes and that is when I stopped and realised I was truly in love with you, and that at that moment I would die for you. Of course there were a few moments before that, the first probably being when you had to wear that long blue dress on one of the first missions, although I made fun of you and enjoyed you being uncomfortable, I actually really like it. And then with the whole broca divide thing, okay I have to admit it, I remembered, God do you think I could forget something like that? I usually think I am a man of good self control, but let me tell you now it was hard for me to stop, it just felt so right for some strange reason, I just thought it was because I hadn't been kissed since before Sara left me, but it wasn't, and now I know why. Then there was that time on Antarctic when I thought I was going to freeze my butt off, now it is the time to tell you, that was not my side arm, and when you asked me if I had any regrets, I wanted to say not kissing you before I died, and as you did lie down with me to die I wanted to kiss you but did not have the physical ability to do so and would did not want to ruin our relationship when I didn't quite understand why I wanted to kiss you so much myself. Next it was when the other Carter came through from the alternate reality, she told me about how we were married and she said to me that I didn't even see you that way and when I left and you were standing there, I looked at you and started to see what she meant, you walked off without the faintest clue. And when I kissed her when she left, it felt strangely nice, and it made me think of what it would be like to kiss you (thoughts which should not be thought by a CO) and I am sorry if you felt like I was cheating on you. I remember the time when dear Janet died, when I thought I was going to die and never see you again- how I held you and didn't want to let go but stay like that. It taught me what it would be like to be with you, and I felt a fool for not leaving then so I could hug and be with you more. There is something I have to confess, during the looping on P4X-639 I kissed you, there are many other things I did which I shouldn't have done, playing golf through the Stargate, riding a bike around the SGC to name a few, but kissing you and swinging you round so our faces were directly in front of General Hammond topped them all, the most amazing part being when you put your arms around me and kissed me back. I could not help but smile at you for weeks on end. The supersoldier, god Sam I was so scared, when I finally found you I would have scooped you up and carried you back to the gate in a heroic way but you know, the knee wasn't up to it and I felt like our feelings had been long buried for one another, so instead I had to settle for putting my arm around you and the feel of your head on my shoulder. When the entity thing took over I would not allow you to die, I thought I killed you when I shot your body, I was distort with myself, but I heard you shouting and thank god you were alright. Finally the time you were stuck on Prometheus, I don't know if Teal'c ever told you how I reacted but I was messed up, missing you like crazy, hoping you were alive and okay. I remember making sure I stayed by your side where I belonged until you woke up and it was a miracle to see you open your eyes and say my name which I liked rather much yet of course had to react otherwise. Listen to me when I say I was not mad at you for being with Pete, I saw you happy and I realised it was time you got something I couldn't give you, at least not for a long time and you didn't deserve to wait, but if anything would have happened between you, I still would have been waiting for you hand outstretched ready for you to take, and if he ever hurt you or mistreated you, I would have kicked his sorry arse all the way to P49 577._

_Sam, you are like my Stargate; my transporter to new experiences, different ways to see the world and to fall in love even more. I want to remember what I've done in my life, it is so amazingly spectacular, so maybe tell me it as a story, or make me watch lots of Wormhole Xtreme to help me remember despite how crappy and cheesy it is. And to help with remembering you and the programme, I might suggest you do the sweet little tank top number again, and even if it doesn't work, at least you would have made a very confused old man happy. _

_Thank you for being a part of my life and thank you for letting me be a part of yours. From the second I laid eyes on you, until the rest of forever, my heart is and will always belong to you, my love._

_Your Jack_

Despite all the times I had read this, it still made me cry. And with these tears in my eyes, I held the picture and letter close to my heart, and finally slipped away.

I opened my eyes to find myself standing in a long white tunnel dressed in a long white gown. I decided after looking around there was nowhere else to go and so walked down it to wherever it wanted to lead me, wherever that may be. At the end stood a figure, a man. And as I approached near I immediately recognised him. "Jack!" He turned and smiled at me.

"Told you I'd be waiting" I reached him and threw my arms around him.

I sighed in relief of him holding me once more. "I was scared of seeing without you Jack, I didn't like what I saw what the world had become…wow you look great" I was suddenly distracted at how good he looked and I realised why I had had to be close to recognise him; Jack was a young man, is his late 30's perhaps, brown haired, handsome faced.

"Not looking too bad yourself" he said smiling. I looked down at my hands, recently old and wrinkled, now young and smooth.

I looked around at where we were, "is that the-" I began to ask

"Stargate?" Jack finished. "That's what I thought"

"Where do you think its taking us?"

"Well I guess its one world no SGC team is going to be able to explore…well they could explore it but they wouldn't get to go back and write a mission report on it" I stared at the shimming pool of water. "You realise that when we go through the iris will be sealed on this end, and you don't get a GDO to open it again". I smiled, I knew I was ready to go through now.

"I can see fine here, wherever here is, it's amazing. To be honest I wish I could have just not seen what the world was becoming, back there I just wanted to be with you again."

"I guess it's easier to live blind then to see lots of things you don't like". He then took my hand in his, ready to step through together, leaving this world and moving on to the next "It's okay Sam," I looked into his eyes "you don't have to be scared anymore, there's no more life in darkness, just love in the light"

**So that is it, I hope you enjoyed. I actually really loved writing this chapter at 1 in the morning on holiday sitting on the beach, after jumping out the window and sneaking off watch the sunset and the moon at sea which actually really helped with the romance because there was this couple there dancing together on the sand. Have to say biggest thank you ever to everyone who has reviewed and anyone who I didn't mention in last chapter, some reviews have been beautiful and supportive. I hope you like it and it's the last chapter so please please please review and most importantly; never stop dreaming**


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